1/21/08

Looking back and moving forward...

This past week was a joyous one, a teary one, a wistful one, and a sweet one. It seemed we were so busy doing everything that I wasn't able to take the time to realize just how far we have come. My sweet baby Chase turned one and hopefully started a hospital free year. He has been through so much in his first year of life, and it is painful to think about just how much he had to endure. I'll never forget when he was 7 weeks old and had his seizure - that was the scariest day of my life. And when the nurse told me he had to have a spinal tap, I thought, "how can he endure that? I can't endure watching him go thru that??". And like most mothers who cannot watch their little ones suffer, I paced the halls of Dayton Children's Hospital while they did it. The staff was great; had they not been so sweet and supportive I believe I would have crumbled. But we made it thru all of the testing, the monitors that wake the dead, Plagiocephally and the helmet, and one last hospital stay before Christmas due to dehydration. But he's healthy, and for that I am eternally grateful and thankful to our Lord for seeing us all though the difficult times. The joy that Chase has brought to our lives is not measurable. He is a constant reminder of how blessed we truly are.

And the other part of our week was the celebration of our sixth wedding anniversary. Wow...six years. It's hard to believe when I met Norman he was an Army Captain at Fort Sill. I was finishing up at Southwestern, and had such a different understanding and impression of the world. In some ways it was a better view of society, and people in general and how they treat others. Moving to Alabama truly opened my eyes on many issues; especially racism and the truth and motivations for it. But we have come so far. I have settled into this military lifestyle and honestly it is a love/hate relationship. I love the life - the pride for my husband, the respect that I have for him and what he does every day. But what is so very hard is watching him get on that plane for a deployment, and leaving behind dear friends when it is time to move. Right now I am just so thankful that things have turned out the way they have, and we have such a bright future in front of us. I am so thankful for this man who married this farmgirl from Oklahoma. It hasn't been easy, but my life is so rich for all the experiences we've had and places we've been, and for that I am so thankful. There is nowhere else I'd rather be. And I am so thankful for all of my friends that I've made each step along the way.

So from here we are moving forward - excitedly to Washington D.C.!! Yes, I have questions about how we will fit all of us into a potentially very small apartment, and I wonder how it will feel using the metro as my regular form of transportation. I still haven't gotten over how weird it is saying that my husband will be working at the Pentagon and Capitol Hill...that sounds so strange. And part of me still feels like that little girl who visited Washington D.C. as a junior in high school with the FFA. The country mouse who went to the city, is getting the unreal chance to live there, and I feel like I'm living a dream that isn't meant for me. But it is, and not only is it for me, but I get to introduce so much history to my babies and I am truly thrilled about that. Somehow I think if I had been given the opportunity to learn about history from that point of view - a personal one - I would have paid more attention in history class. And that brings me to another point of my ramblings...you never know where you will end up. My father is a retired history teacher, and I know I learned about wars from my history classes. But why wasn't I truly interested? If only I had known that one day I would marry a man who would go off to war, I think it would have been a bit more personal to me. Okay, so the point is that you never know how things will wind up. You never know what path you might take and where it will lead. All you can do is make the best decisions you can and pray that any mistakes you might make will be "fixable". I am so thankful to be right here, sitting in my bed next to my husband who is apartment shopping for places in D.C. I am happy to deal with this baby weight, because it means I have been blessed with God's greatest gift, and I am thankful for all my friends, new and old, and I am optimistic about what the future holds for all of us. And until next time... Thank you to those who took the time to share in my thoughts...God Bless.

1 comment:

Jenny B said...

Children are amazing, aren't they!? And six years!! That's great!