4/9/09

Military Reflections

It's a funny thing how something can hit you square between the eyes and almost bring you to tears immediately. I was taking Chase to the Child Development Center for his play day there this morning, and it was the usual routine. Wait in the long line of cars outside the gate, double check to make sure I know where my insurance is because I always get tagged for the random vehicle searches, and pray the guys with the guns at the gate are having a good day. Same ole same ole.

But today I pulled up to the little military police shack thing, handed the guy my military ID and he looked it over and handed it back to me and then said, "We support the family, ma'am. Have a good day". I just sat there, my jaw seriously dropped open. I was so touched. I stammered out "Thank you so much...you too" but forgot to drive because I was about to cry. So then the poor guy says, "Ma'am, you can drive now", and I just said "okay" like a dummy.

So then I drive onto post (Fort Myer) and head toward the CDC. At a stop sign when I stopped, I watched the guys in their desert BDU's loading big trucks, jeeps, all kinds of deployment (I'm guessing) gear getting ready to go. And just a few feet away from where they are loading things and getting ready, is the back side of Arlington National Cemetery. It was such a hard moment for me right there...the price of the past very visible in the rows and rows of white that stretch out for miles, and the hope of the future right in front of me. HEROES. That leave their families and their lives behind to fight for ME and YOU and even for all the people who don't even think about them at all. For me this military life is a love/hate type relationship. I LOVE traveling...I love all the friends I've been blessed to meet along the way. I love having my eyes opened to how some things really are instead of being sheltered and naive and never gaining an outside perspective. But I hate deployment. I hate war. And I'll admit that sometimes I hate that my husband has such a love for his country that he's willing to leave me and die for it. But that's what makes our military so unbelievably heroic...at least to me. Our country NEEDS them. Sometimes our country even needs them more than we think we do. But no matter what, there is no wife prouder of her husband than I am. And I am so thankful for this family of "sisters" that I have who all feel the same way. Who know the burdens and fears but who choose to do it anyway. It's you guys who sometimes help to find the joyous moments in the the middle of all the scary awful ones...Hooah :)