The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly…and a Birthday!

Well, I’m always so happy to post about the good progress Eli is making, but this blog is about our real life, so here it is:

The Good – Eli’s sensory issues are better…the noises don’t bother him as much (he was able to help Norman mow the lawn), we’re no longer having to cut tags out of EVERY piece of clothing, and he is able to calm down more quickly than before.  He is also doing great in school…he gets frequent breaks to give his mind  a rest and to let him have a break from concentrating, but he is doing well.

The Bad – When Eli gets frustrated he still provokes kids.  He doesn’t know how to walk away or go tell an adult.  Well, let me rephrase…he KNOWS what he should do, but in the moment, it all flies out the window and he just antagonizes them…throws something…kicks at them…

The Ugly – Today he provoked a kid (the kid probably got too close to Eli – he is a huge boundaries kid-and wouldn’t get out of his face) and Eli punched him in the chest.  To which the other kid returned the favor and punched him in the face.  I hate to say it, but Norman and I have been waiting for someone to hit back, and we are hoping this helps him “remember” before he does it next time.  He has a short term memory in a bad way, so I doubt it, but I can hope right? 

So we keep treading along…I think he has another month left and will be home the end of October.  Then we can get started on REAL life and deal with the real issues that we face.  We won’t know really how MUCH progress has been made until he is here…permanently. 

Some things we do know is that we have to have a chore chart in place, a reward system in place, have short playtimes ( using a timer to help Eli see that there is an end to having to play with Chase), and understand and get used to just HOW much time Eli will need to be alone.  That is the biggest challenge we are going to face I think. 

And dinner…Oy.  I think just the four of us sitting together makes it impossible for him to focus on eating, so I think we will have to have a back-up plan.  I’m going to get him a kids sized table and let him eat alone and in peace on the nights he’s having trouble eating.  I have always felt like a family should eat together…but “different” kids call for different ways of living.  So I guess we won’t really know how different that will be until he gets home. 

But for now, I can just hope and pray that tomorrow is better for him. 

And I will end on this note; Happy BIRTHDAY to my wonderful husband Norman.  He is 38 years young, and I pray that this is a wonderful year for you babe…Here are some pictures of  him over the years…

Baby Norman

NormanBaby2  Melanie (Norman’s sister) and Norman


Norman playing A-RAB in West Side Story in 10th grade


At Stonehenge


With Congressman Ciro Rodriguez at the Capitol in DC


I love you Norman…here’s to many more happy years together!


  1. You make my day babe... every day! Many more great years together ahead!

  2. Happy Birthday to Norman!

    Stacey, All the things you mentioned in your posts are common struggles for an Asperger child, as non-comforting as it sounds. Logan still REACTS without thinking, all the years of counseling, $ down the drain (that's what I sometimes think) THEN I remember, no this is the daily behavior of a child who doesn't know how to communicate and fit into our world appropriately, and that helps my reaction to his poor choices and reactions.

    We have wished somebody would haul off and hit our son, all the times he deserved it, and maybe it would wake him up and he'd start to think how others feel, hasn't happened. This may sound awful for somebody who has no clue the limits he has gone with others without caring or thinking, when he knows better.
    You will have a BIG adjustment period ahead, the fact that you know this, will help you prepare and lots of prayer will be needed.
    Hope you guys get to go out and celebrate Norman's birthday in a big way!

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    Kate Karver
    a cell phone jammer


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